In late August I will be touring the east coast with Sydney-based songwriter KAHLO. The tour will begin in Brisbane and end in Tasmania. To book tickets head over to my Facebook page.
Where does this begin.
The page is on the table and I look up at you.
Your eyes are brown, the room in your command.
She says what are you thinking, I’m thinking of going home.
And I don’t feel I have to be someone around you,
You always gave me that.
And all of a sudden
You look sadder than I’ve ever seen
You’re smiling at me
And all of a sudden
I think maybe I’ll only ever love you
I think of the years to come, and wishing I was here again
Making mistakes.
Funny I care now, sitting here with nothing owing
The last stage in giving up.
It happens in reverse
She says change comes, and I’ve never seen her wise
It can seems hard just to know your own nature
And I say the strangest things, it must be to keep this memory breathing
And all of a sudden
You look sadder than I’ve ever seen
You’re smiling at me
And all of a sudden
I think maybe I’ll only ever love you
I think of the years to come, and wishing I was here again
Making mistakes.
Come up to meet me,
Dream, dream what you want from me
Use my face as your virtue,
And fit me to all your perversions
Well it settles worse than it stings, so I deal in lies
Come for the blame game
Shame I’m living without fame
Believe me delusions are easy
I’ve been deceiving myself for centuries
And I just don’t know if there’s a man I can find in here
I’ll been dancing my way out of this lie
But I am mediocre, don’t tell me it’s life
Come up to patience
My seeing, seeing is breaking
I just don’t know what I’m saying
Seeing too many people I’m hating
And I just don’t know why but I see it in my own eyes now
I’m running out of time god,
I don’t know who I am god
My life is crippled by structure,
And my dreams are in fractures
And I just cannot hang another lie on this old frame
I’ll been dancing my way out of this life
I am mediocre, don’t tell me it’s life
My favour is not working
I shook its hand
The only way I know how
I shook its hand
That empty place of promise
I shook its hand
The only way I’ve known how
I shook its hand for me – all for me
It seems like a new level of pretending
It seems I wake up and get a coffee
Like I’m lying, and I’m growing old
And it’s getting awful close to me not getting up at all
Then again I’m trailing off and my sentences start to sound bizarre
Once again I’m drunker than you are
I’m asking for you to come home, at once
And your shocked by how forward I am (how different I am)
Oh we’re all very shy,
Until our sadness meets with a drunken night.
And reservations never suited me
Walls and lips are balancing me
And it couldn’t be worse than if she leaves
And there is pleasure in our thoughts
I’ve got a blessing I’m owed from a younger life
Will this be it
And then it’s quiet and you’re gone.
I’m nothing like I’ve been showing
Further from it, closer to it
Distracted by the way you see me
To no alternative I run
The waves of thought, peddling
Treasuring my attention
Let me cry into these lonely hands
That touched each verse of skin the same
And desperate as I am,
That held your throat and bent your neck
And was so romantic
And so pathetic
Resting on your conscience is an image your are forgetting
The sound my laughter caught in your throat
And the hissing bitterness
It’s to god I prey when you break my heart
Call out my faith it’s full of holes
Full of cloaks and tricks
Full of bargains
But it’s where I rest,
When I’m tired of excess.
Faceless behaviours
Moving through my body
For immediate satisfaction
Wanting complements,
But not to hear them
You can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness.
“England is mine and it owes me a living” (Song: Still Ill; Album: Hatful of Hollow)
Choose your faith very well, it will you owe you favours till you die, and I’ve got a wicked life ahead, I’m sure
Every promise I have kept is a secret better spent upon eager hearts that come to steal
How dare you fuck me like a doll then say you love me so
In such a sentimental way, I will not neatly fit your life
And for regret can still taste sweet, I pushed her body to the wall, I’ve never really known what gets her high
I read upon your face such a lethargy of lust that I will use your hands to come and close my eyes
I choose humour after sex, as she performs a cigarette
She smiles and says politely I prefer to sleep alone
I won’t die right now, I’ve got a fever in my hands and I love the way it feels
I won’t die right now, I’ve got to change myself, to change you too
And as I watched some girl get high, the opportunist in my mind, spoke how easy it might be to seduce
Well half the clothes don’t fit, don’t make a sensation out of it, just slip into my hands as I slip into myself
I looked her in the eyes, as she looked into the sky
Calling my name to ceiling I ignored
She enjoyed me very much, shame I didn’t give a fuck
I made some excuse about my heart and went to bed
I won’t die right now, I’ve got a fever in my hands and I love the way it feels
I won’t die right now, I’ve got to change myself, to change you too
You’re crueller than you know
She says I’m crueller than I show
I said I am I am just the scraps of your heart
That you face when things are black
As the night did cloaked our act
Every treasure kept here on a loan
Shine until the lustre goes
Devour everything you know
With those eager hands
Because you can’t take meaning past the line
They check you and they strip you every time
And it’s a holy thing to lose, every garnered bit of truth
Every ounce of joy that life imbued in you
Every bracket of despair that slowly fades
To a tempo you don’t mind
Every broken bone is mending, every tired day is gone
From here you must surrender every thing that you did wrong
Because you can’t take meaning past the line
They check you and strip you every time
If Moses died in a submarine,
And his final letter written in his dream
Was penned to be his vision of a world
Or if cowards dies in the evergreen
Does the prettiness dissolve,
Every runaway to the sinking sand, every fool was in the leaves
If seeming truth is unaware
If god was meant to be everywhere
I dressed my life to believe it so I don’t care
Because you can’t take meaning past the line
They check you and strip you every time
Every feeble truth is bending past the natural course of life
My childhood fear amending with a haunting kind of lie
If the shelter is the calming day
Or the mottled stars are a give-away
If the faithful smile is starting, but you can’t unwind
If the fervent world under the evening stars don’t mind,
Every man will have a go at telling the reason for his life
A disappearing wisdom remembered by the sky
Because you can’t take meaning past the line
They check you and strip you every time
Well if you pawn your silver for a chain of beads and the picture is sublime
I will hang you in my memories and keep you for a time
And when the chaos clouds, and rain obscures, I will draw you to my eyes
And though it’s subtle and the it’s splendid I’ll believe it every time
It was never hard to love you, but I have to say goodbye
The tears they are running and they need a reason why
Because you can’t take meaning past the line
They check you and strip you every time
If the crowded bed is tipping, and the feeling is quite numb
If the loneliness is beating past the darkness come
If makeup doesn’t suit you, because you don’t like strangers eyes
Or if the polish on your nails becomes a vision that you despise
Erode each illusion with an exaggerated shine
The fervour of your spirit is a phantom you can find
But if the bravery never narrows the distance in your mind
I too am exhausted by the notions of this life
I’ll learn from a future that is trusted still in time
Because you can’t take meaning past the line
They check you and strip you every time
